To Squee, Or Not To Squee

And now, the Phantom of the Junior High proudly presents, for your enjoyment, ladies and gentlemen, the justly underrated, never sated, addle pated, much anticipate, rather inebriated, Kiss-Me-Kated, unfortunately fated, boxed and crated, and much debated, Phantom of the Junior High version of Hamlet. (Whew.)

To be, or not to squee, -- that is the phantom;
Whether 'tis nobler in the fop to suffer
The slings and muffins of outre fortune,
Or to take patrons against a sea of divas,
And by debating end them. To die, -- to murder, --
No more; and by a murder to say we end
The stagehand and the 42 natural shocks
That flesh is liberal to,-- 'tis a deformity
intensely to be wish'd. To die, --- to murder,--
To murder! perchance to punjab! OAYe, there's the punjab lasso;
For in that murder of death what boxes may come
When we have triumphed off this masked coil,
Must give us iodine and sodium thiopentol....

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.