More Ranting. Have I Scared You Yet? Plus The First Chapter of Finding Fenchurch.

This was on PotO.com and I felt like posting it. . .It was in the Chorus, that being the thread where we discuss non Phantomy topics. I adore the website, but every so often a really evil creature shows up. . .So yes. Erik_obsessed is the evil one. I’m SimplyElymas.

Erik_obsessed wrote:
Half of the male population in my school asks me out, asks me to marry them, and/or tells me that they love me at least 10 times every day. Even on Saturdays and Sundays. My boyfriend jokes about it, but it is not funny anymore. I have 32 secret admirer notes that were jammed into my locker, 52 date offers, 22 proposals, and 15 signed love letters from the last week. It gets annoying. Very annoying. WHY CAN'T THERE BE ONLY ONE GUY WHO LIKES ME IN THE SCHOOL? WHY? Life as one of the most popular girls in school is hard. Real hard.

P.S. My school has a large population. Half of the population would have to be at least 150 guys. Seriously.

SimplyElymas wrote:
Holy bloody hell girl. Whoa. I mean, have a little sensitivity here. There are girls on here who have never been asked out. And do you know why? 'Cause the guys who liked them (I know this from experience) were the quiet, introverted, shy, uncertain guys, instead of you, who are apparently getting the loud proud 'n' popular.

Also: You want to rant about popularity? You really want to get some of us started on popularity, dear? Well allow me to begin.

Popularity is all pervading. It gets into everything. If you're not popular, it's hell to pay. The popular kids can't see that. They can only see the bad in their own little situation. You're getting asked out too much? Well guess what. A while ago some kid pushed a friend of mine up against a locker and cursed in my face and a teacher walked by and didn't care. Because that kid was popular. You've got too many secret admirers? Well guess what. A friend of mine, lets call him "Joe" was recently swirlied. You don't know what that means? No wonder. You're in a bubble, girl, and someone needs to pop that for you. Get some perspective.

Plus, there are starving children in Africa.

---

Wow, that girl makes me mad. She really does. She is the sort of person for whom the phrase “Go buy something pink, B-TCH!” was coined for. The epitome of all that I hate. No, I’m not bitter. . .don’t look at me like that. Ha.

Also, funny thing. Luke and Nancy and I were playing word association. . .

Nancy: Cat.

Kat: Dog.

Luke: Yum.

Kat: I find that disturbing.

---

And, the promised first chapter of Finding Fenchurch, the new Hitch Hiker's fan fiction.

Prolouge
The Phone Call

“Hello? Hello? Is this the Theatre?”

“Yes, you’ve reached the Very Comfortable Capes And Phantoms Yes Theatre. Don’t ask about the name. Our lead actress named the place and her native language doesn’t translate well into English. This is Mr. Geist Gastheer speaking. How may I help you?”

From Geist Gastheer’s end of the line, someone yelled, “Geist? Who’s that?”
‘
“I don’t know yet. Who is this?”

“This is Berel Zaxphobeox?”

Crash. The crash was followed by the sound of someone helping someone (presumably someone else, but who knew these days) up.

“Hello? Hello? What the photon –“

Someone else picked up the phone. The new voice was almost definitely female, though it made no pretense of finesse. “Hey. Elymas Ayeehkoor speaking. What’s with making Geist fall of his chair? This is the third time this week. What’s your name anyway?”

Click. Someone had picked up another phone and cut in on the line.

“Hello? Mr. …er… Zaxphobeox, this is Geist Gastheer. Do you think we’re stupid?”

Berel managed to mumble that, no, not at all, really.

“Suffice to say, Mr. Zaxphobeox, that I am a very, very, smart kid.” There was a small, annoyed noise from Elymas’s reciever. “And so is Ms. Ayeehkoor. Don’t think we don’t recognize a simple anagram when we see one.”

“Anagram? I don’t know what you’re talking abou –“

“Your name, Zaxphobeox. It’s an anagram. Of the real one. But don’t worry. Elymas is a fugitive herself.”

“I thought we’d agreed not to mention that!”

“Do you really think that Zaphod Beeblebrox, of all people, is likely to turn you in, Elymas?”

“Ooh, point.”

Silence for a time. A deep, unfathomable silence. Then Zaphod – for indeed, it was Zaphod – spoke.

“So, you theatre people are multi-talented. . .can you find a girl for me? I’m looking for a girl.”

“Aren’t we all?” Geist asked dramatically, the barest hint of irony in his voice.

Quote of the Day

“He has to become intelligent at some point.”

“Don’t hold your breath, dear.”

- Kat and Micheal, discussing Luke. The second line must be said in a slight Yorkshire accent, or else the effect is just gone.

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.