ALL YOUR RANT ARE BELONG TO US

Dear Fan Fiction Authors,

Stop. Just stop. Repeat after me:

We must recognize when reading Sherlock Holmes, that at a certain point the idea of Holmes falling in love with a woman is STUPID. JUST STUPID. He doesn't like women. He really doesn't, and he says so. "I have never been a whole souled admirer or womenkind," ring any bells? How about "The fair sex is your department, Watson?" Or, "I should never marry, lest I bias my judgement?"

AAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH. If you want to write Young!Holmes, then damnit, write Young!Holmes, but leave my old, bitter, morphine/cocaine junkie the hell alone. ALONE, I say! He doesn't want to jump into bed with your Mary Sue, he's not madly in love with Irene Adler, and if he is in love with Watson (or Irene, come to that) he's not going to MARRY THEM mostly because GAY MARRIAGE IS ILLEGAL IN THE VICTORIAN AGE. Nor is Holmes terribly interested in having long, soppy conversations with Watson about their relationship. HE'S SHERLOCK HOLMES, people. He isn't a therapist, and he's certainly not Watson's tberapist, and if I see one more fan fiction with a summary like, "He had never loved. He was a broken, bitter man. Until she came along." GAAAAH no! He was a broken and bitter man and he stayed that way, damnit! Because he's so much cooler that way!

SOS!

SAVE OUR SHERLOCK!

However, if you're into writing Holmes/Watson, you will find no resistance from this quarter! Tally ho and on with the unintentional homoerotic subtext!

XOXO,
Kat