Simulated Phantoms And Edible Fops

I am a twisted, mentally ill, weird individual. All this is according to my mother, who is a bit disgusted with my PotO fixation. It could have been the day I decided on my favorite pairing. (You all know what it is, I'm not repeating myself and being mocked again.) It could have been the day I dragged her to the library to find Susan Kay. It might even have been the fact that I woke her up in the middle of the night to tell her, "Mom, I don't think that Phillipe actually died at the end in Leroux!"

All: (Snicker.)

But just what gave rise to this shriek of my mother's despair? Well now. Frankly, it was the Sims. The Sims, as in that game where you create simulated people, mm? My brother is a Sims junkie, so we have every single bloody game. Sims Hot Date, Sims Vacation, Sims Superstar, Sims Livin' Large, Sims Makin' Magic, and every other Sims that is possibly conceivable to the human mind, and some unhuman, and inhumane, minds as well.

I was never terribly interested in Sims. I did try to create a rock musician in Superstar once, but I lost interest. After all, my friends, it's creating simulated lives. I just figured, well, er, I have some semblance of a non-simulated life, right? Seeing as how I no longer have any life at all, or even a semblance of one, I am a bit interested once again.

Especially when I thought of creating the Simulated PotO Characters. (SPC) And, ladies and gentlemen, that grabbed my interest.

Erik: Thank God. Thank GOD!

Nadir: Thank Allah, in my case, personally!

Raoul: This is terrible. Curses, foiled again.

Christine: Righto.

Ayesha: What about me?

You may wonder what all of this means. It doth meaneth thus: Sim!Christine fell for Sim!Erik almost immediately, and he, of course, fell for her. Sim!Raoul also fell for Sim!Christine, but she did not requit his love. So, the drama. Unfortunately, or fortunately, if you happen to be named Christine, we can't create Ayesha, because we don't have Sims Unleashed. Oh, well. We don't have the most annoying character. Oh, spite, oh, hell!

Max: Precisely!

Ben: That's my line!

Kat: Fine, are you happy?

Ben: Well, no, obviously not.

Kat: I was talking to Max. Besides, your line is "clearly."

Max: Yes, I'm very happy. Oh Helen, Goddess, nymph. . .

Gabe: What's he on about?

Kat: It's a long story.

Gabe: Clearly.

In any case. Nadir is happy because I've given him Reza, his son, who died in the original novel. He's rather happy about that, and is giving out Pop Tarts. Please, take one and pass them on.

Max: Do these have peanut butter?

Erik: Only one way to find out. . .

Ben: (Intent on stealing his line back.) Clearly.

Max: Clearly.

All But Max: (Advance ominously upon him with Pop Tarts.)

(After all Pop Tarts have been happily consumed. They were a bit rubbery, but no peanut butter.)

Christine: Where's Raoul?

Erik: (Looks a bit guilty.)

Kat: Oh no.

Gabe: (Catching on like a true scientist, looks suspiciously at Pop Tarts.)

Max: Oh my God.

Kat: Nadir, you do have an evil side to you.

Christine: (Faints.)

Max and Ben: She faints easily, doesn't she?

Kat: Oh, dang. Here, Max, Gabe, Ben, grab her, we'll put her in the closet. . .follow me.

(They proceed down several long halls, leaving the PotO characters to their. . .fun and cannibalism, finally arriving at a large closet.)

Gabe: (Trips over unconsious Javert.) Wha? Who?

Ben: Kat, is that Javert from Les Miz?

Kat: Yeah. I needed to get my anger out after listening to him one time.

Max: Frightening. Oh dear God, is that. . .

Raoul: (Walking out of closet, looking perfectly normal.) Kat, can I come out now?

Kat: Oh yes. (Fiendish grin.) Thanks, Raoul. I owe you a malt at Johnny Rockets, okay?

Raoul: Right. (Skips off.)

Gabe: (Catching on quick yet again.) Nice, Kat.

Max: That was MEAN!

Kat: Yes, but it was worth the look on her face.

Ben: Clearly.

Fade to black.

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.