Don't We Love Surveys?

The J.G. trys to describe herself in a survey. Fun fun fun.

If I was a profession I'd be: A BROADWAY ACTRESS!
If I was a body of water I'd be: Mediterranean sea.
If I was a piece of candy I'd be: Whatchamacallit bar, or a Crunchie. Mmm. . .Crunchie. . .
If I was a famous building I'd be: The Disney Concert Hall in LA
If I was a bad habit I'd be: Giggling.
If I was a swear word I'd be: Bitch. What, it's a compliment!
If I was a ice cream flavor I'd be: Pralines 'n' Cream.
If I was a disease I'd be: Obsessive Complusive Disorder.
If I was a board game I'd be: Chess.
If I was a feeling I'd be: Ecstasy.
If I was a city I'd be: New York!
If I was a color I'd be: Bottle green, like the bottles to Canada Dry ginger ale.
If I was a celebrity I'd be: Er, does Erik, the Phantom of the Opera, count?
If I was a movie I'd be: "The Phantom of the Opera," the Lon Chaney version.
If I was a business I'd be: Theatre lawyer person agency thing.
If I were a month, I'd be: June.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Thursdays. No one ever quite got the hang of Thursdays.
If I were a time of day, I'd be: Dawn.
If I were a planet, I'd be: Sedna.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: Octopus.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: Erik's throne chair.
If I were a sin, I'd be: Sloth.
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Dom Perignon.
If I were a tree, I'd be: Live Oak.
If I were a bird, I'd be: A simple crow.
If I were a tool, I'd be: A small monkey wrench.
If I were a plant, I'd be: An unobtrustive forget-me-not.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: The eye of a hurricane.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: A violin.
If I were an animal, I'd be: A cat.
If I were a sound, I'd be: PotO overture, with the Bohemian Rhapsody and people laughing in the background.
If I were a material, I'd be: Denim.
If I were a taste, I'd be: The taste of peppermint.
If I were a word, I'd be: Melancholy.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: Grin.
If I were a shape, I'd be a: Pentagram.
If I were a number, I'd be: 42. Jackie Robinson's jersey, plus, it's the meaning of life.
If I were a band, I'd be: The Old 97s.
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: A woldweller, who lives in trees and is wise. They used to answer questions, but then the questions were about power and death, and they went away.
If I was a country I'd be: Ireland.
If I was an emotion I'd be: Confusion.
If I was a war I'd be: The Revolutionary War.
If I was a currency I'd be: Dollar.
If I were a direction, I'd be: East by a northwest.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: Asparagus.
If I were a fruit, I'd be: An apple, I'm addicted to Fuji apples.
If I were an element, I'd be: Shadow. Hate to be cleshe, sorry.
If I were a song, I'd be: "Heaven Helps the Man," Footloose!
If I were a book, I'd be: Phantom, by Susan Kay.
If I were a food, I'd be: Mochi.
If I were a body part, I'd be: Eyes.
If I were a X-man, then I'd be: Oh, definitely Rogue!
If I were a metal, I'd be: Silver, with tin and pewter mixed in.
If I were a piece of Jewlery, I'd be: A simple gold ring, that a certain man gave a certain woman, once upon a time.
If I were a alcoholic beverage, I'd be: Like I said, dom perignon.
If I were a Greek God/Goddess, I'd be: Minerva, Goddess of Wisdom and Arts.
If I were a Shakesperian play, i'd be: Much Ado About Nothing, or Midsummer Night's Dream. Go Borachio and Puck!
If I were a era, I'd be: Mid-nineteenth century.

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.