The Importance of Being Kat

Before we begin, you should know that I am on a serious Importance of Being Earnest kick. I apologize.

OAYe! Happy Kat! Very very happy Kat!

Kat: (Bounces.)

Erik: O.o

Max: He's back!

Ben: Wait, what?

Max: Erik hasn't been around here for ages. Come to think of it, nor have we.

Gabe: (Is not here.)

Kat: Gabe's off at the U of Santa Cruz designing things. If when he comes back there's anything flammable. . .well, I don't know what to tell you but hang on, and don't turn the grasshopper. Speaking of which, does Ben know what I'm talking about? I know Max does, because he's read Leroux, but. . .er, right.

Christine: The hiker is absent.

Howl: That he is.

Ben: Ford Prefect?

Ford: No, I'm over here. That's Howl, from Howl's Moving Castle, the new Miyazaki movie. And the kid next to him is Markl.

Max: Marco? Markle?

Kat: Markl.

Max: Whatever.

Nadir: That's not the point. Point is, why is Kat so. . .bouncy?

Kat: I prefer the term beamish, thank you.

Nadir: Whatever. But what has you so. . .(Kat starts singing.). . .effusive?

Oscar Wilde: I believe I can answer that.

All: O.O What on earth?!?

Erik: Her sanity is absolutely. . .

Ben: At the gate?

Erik: Out the window. We don't have a gate. In any case, it's gone.

Max: Whatever. Hey, is that Oscar Wilde? Who is Oscar Wilde anyway?

Ford: Who?

Kat: Writes plays and fairy tales and basically anything he can get his hands on. Hi, Oscar.

Oscar: (To Algernon.) Who is she?

Algy: (Appearing inexplicably, as a lot of people seem to be doing.) I remember her. Once she popped up and yelled at Jack. . .I mean Earnest. . .for fifteen minutes straight.

Sane Personage: (Suddenly realizes that Algy should be called Earnest as well.)

Ben: You yelled at Jack for how long?

Kat: I was mad at him at the end of the movie. For lying to Gwendolyn, I mean. He doesn't do that in the play. So I yelled at him a bit.

Jack: A bit? It was for hours straight!

Oscar: Leave my characters alone!

Kat: Like I could be meaner to them than you are?

Mizamour: It's possible, some of her phiction is quite angsty.

Nadir: Tell me about it.

Erik: I'm still mad at her about "All Right."

Nadir: Rather not talk about that.

POP TARTS!

Kat: This is getting long.

BREAKFAST CEREAL!

Fred Weasley: We'd like to close -

Artemis Fowl: - by informing you -

Butler: - that Kat is happy because -

Thomas Jefferson: - her mother was just offered -

Diego: To do some work with an Oscar Wilde play.

TOAST!

And so adieu.

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient -

Oh yes, I'd quite forgotten. Happy Fourth, everyone. Have a good one. Don't get caught on fire.

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.