In Which Kat And Ben Begin World Domination, Starting, Naturally, At Disneyland

At this moment, Ben is looking at the computer screen and saying, "What?" So we weren't actually plotting to take over to world. We were at Disneyland. Close enough. . .

(Scene switch to Kat's room. Pale yellow walls, two very messy desks, various PotO memorbilia lying around. Her Hugh Panaro autograph in a place of honor on her chaotic bedside table. Kat would appear to be lying in the bed, fully clothed, under a heap of sheets and blankets. Anyone who knows Kat can recognize what this means. There is something she should be doing.)

Ely: (Appearing from the wormhole in reality under Kat's bed - what? You didn't know there was a wormhole in reality under my bed? What do they teach them in schools these days. . .Think, you're not thinking! THINK!) Kaaat. . .

Kat: Present.

Ely: (Poking her.) Why aren't you being sentient?

Kat: Have I ever been?

Ely: (Poking her again.) I wanna go outside and play.

Kat: Christ, how old are you, four?

Erika: I'll thank you to stop being so absurd, you two. I'm trying to read. (Curls up in Kat's armchair, going back to Edgar Allan Poe's "Tales of Mystery and Imagination.") Yay. Death. (Suddenly realizes.) Kat, you should be blogging.

Kat: (Childishly.) No! I don't want to! (Her face pokes up from out of the bedding. Her hair is messy, and she looks vaguely displeased with life, the universe, and everything.) The computer's broken and. . .

Ely: So draft it in that nifty pretty blue notebook you've gots. Didn't Ben say he wanted you to post about Disneyland?

Erika: (Throws a pillow at Ely.) We don't have to listen to Ben.

Kat: Erika, have you heard of common politeness?

Erika: Depends. Have you?

Kat: (Disappears under the bedding, mumbling.)

Erika: Oh, I know what this is about. . .

Ely: Wha?

Erika: She's got -

(Dun dun dun!)

Erika: BLOGGER'S BLOCK!

Kat: Woe is me. You're right. Espanol es muy aburrida, yo es mal. No es bien.

Ely: What? Oh, Kat. . .you know what you need to do in times like these. . .(Starts singing.)

Erika: (Groan.) Stoppit!

Ely:

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

Kat: Kill me now. . .

Ely:

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

Ely: (Begins dancing about.)

Ely:

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

Kat: My God, I hate me. . .

Erika: You know, I think we should try and beat her at her own game. . .(Evil grin. She begins to sing.)

Erika:

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

Ely: That's not the idea. . .

Erika: (Really enjoying herself now.)

Erika:

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's got no good bit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

Ely: Come on guys, cheer up!

Erika: (Patting Kat roughly.) Worse things happen at sea, you know.

Ely: I mean - what have you got to lose?

Erika: You know, you come from nothing -

Ely: You're going back to nothing -

Erika: What have you lost?

All Three: Nothing!

Full PotJH Company: Always look on the bright side of life...

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.