The Seriously Inexplicable And Unexpected Genius Of Maxwell
Ben: Wait, what?!?
Kat: Yeah, I know. I was just looking through the old purse, and found these. . .two stories that Max wrote.
Julian: (Spits out whatever he was drinking. . .he hadn't been drinking anything up 'till then, but Kat likes the effect.) Max wrote a story?
Gabe: Oh dear.
Spencer: I agree.
Ben: (Very dryly.) Is it any good?
Max: Yes!
Kat: . . .
Ben: I see.
Kat: I'm in it.
Ben: I'm worried.
Kat: So are you.
Ben: I'm growing progressively more worried.
Kat: Let's just roll the projector. . .as they don't say in Hollywood. Hmm, roll 'em, roll 'em, snake eyes, roll 'em, whatsamatter, roll the dice. . .Luck be a lady. . .
Gabe, Mickey and Ben: (Get it.)
Kat: (Is watching the old Brando Guys and Dolls movie.)
Mickey: Oh, well that explains that. . .
Kat: So, you guys remember the Night Club story? No? Oh, well, the heck with that. It had to do with Max working at a night club that Kat and Mickey managed. Ben was bartender.
Gabe: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Ben: Trust me, we were.
Max's Night Club Tale
Maxwell walked in the night club, and bought a liberalicious, his favorite drink. Rum, Diet Coke, and a shot of expresso, served in an orange and blue swirl cup. Suddenly, he had a brilliant idea. He dropped the cup and was almost to the exit by the time it shattered.
"You're paying for that cup!" Shouted Ben.
Max ran to the tower to tell Kat his brilliant idea. He rushed in and found Erika changing.
"Shoulda knocked," Max said, sheepish.
Thirty seconds later, he was sheepish again. This time he was rubbing his leg, where he had been kicked very hard. Just then Kat walked by.
"Your phsyco sadist alter ego kicked me."
"Erika, did you kick Max?" Said Kat.
"He needs to knock," said Erika.
PotJH Company: . . .
Ben: Max, if you do not pull your mind out of the gutter, I will bodily drag it out of there and then throw it out the third story window.
Kat: We have three stories?
Ben: We do now.
Kat: Okay, why not. . .
Mickey: Wasn't there another one?
Kat: Yes, actually. This one is titled. . .drum roll, please?
Spencer: I don't think we have any drums.
Kat: Think again!
Angel: (The one from Rent, you sillies.) Hi! (Drum rolls.)
Mickey: OhmigodohmigodohmigodWILSONGERMAINHEREDIA!
Gabe: What'd she say?
Ben: I don't know, but it sounded like the name of a none too pleasant dehabilitating digestive disorder.
Spencer: Ooh, alliteration. . .
Kat: I should warn you. . .the spelling of Erik's name in the following story changes throughout.
Ben: Really? I for one am shocked.
Gabe: What has him so mercurial?
Kat: He's just. . .Ben.
Maxwell's The Phantom of Oz
The tornado swirled through the air, twisting and turning before it descended up on the Paris Opera House. At the house on the lake a cyclone appeared and swirled into the air where it collided with a Kansasian house.
Erik awoke to the sight of short munkians singing and a girl in a blue and white checked dress. Lyrics about a dead witch flew by. Confirming that the witch was named Alphabat, and indeed was not in indication of a dead Kat, Erick pulled out his Punjab.
"Hi, I'm Dorothy," said the girl.
"Erick, Parisian Opera Ghost at your service."
"Oh my. A ghost. Do you need to get somewhere?
"Yeah, I'm late for a torture chamber session. I loathe fops."
"Well then, come with me to Oz."
"Whatever, but if we see a fop. . ."
As they walk along they see a scarecrow, a lion, and a tin dude. Erick promptly punjabbed all of them.
"I wonder if they could have helped up," said Dorthy. "And stop trying to put your lasso around Toto."
"But I'm hungry," said Erick.
"Gross."
Eric also punjabed a number of flying monkeys.
Finally they reached a green city.
Erikc and Dorthy went to see the wizard. Erick murdered him, after discovering that he was a phony. Then they tapped their shoes together and went home.
Mickey: ALPHABAT?!? ALPHABAT!?!?! ALPHABAT!!!!!!!?????? (Grabs the Punjab and starts chasing Max.)
Max: (Yelps and runs.)
Kat: . . .
Ben: Kansasian? Munkians?
Quote of the Day
"More strudel than cheesecake!"
- Nathan Detroit
I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,
J.G.
posted by Sigerson @ 7:06 PM
26 comments
26 Comments:
haha midway through reading this, i forgot that maxwellw wrote it and im like e 'why would kat change elphaba's name and Kansasian isnt a word!
yes and i remeber that thing you)kat) and i used to tak about coming downhill from the scinece room, and how ben was the bartender in our club, and we were managers. and we thought of more jobs. like Talia had a job. but im not gonna say what heer job was....haha.
and la vie phantom has to take place at the club!
ha you could write a whoooole play about this kat...and and and and haha max is still maureen(or as maddie calls her, "moreen.")and Ben still Mark Cohen..mark the bartender...ya ok. and umm if im mimi, theeen that wont really work.....yeah maybe we just need new characters...wait and umm not saying any names here, but kat..we need a new angel. Ori perhaps? but hes not in the POTJ company. ummm yea.
WHATS THE CLUB CALLED?
the catscratch club(hahahahahahah.)!
According to Ben I'm Joanne. . .Hmm. I can see us singing Tango: Maureen together, no?
Ha, now I have to go write the Tango: Maxwell.
The tango Maxwell!
Is caffeinated, research has found!
He's an excellent bereaver
He loves Liz and won't leave her!
When you're dancing his dance
You don't stand a chance
The roll of his Rs frightens all
So you think
Might as well
Try and teach him to spell
At least I'll have tangoed at all!
Your daily comment that I want you to read even though it was on the last post:
I just went through all of the links on that page, just for old sake's sake.
Yay.
And not yay, because it's dinnertime and Kat is not hungry, do you hear?
Also, Ben needs moral support. . .should that be morale support? Whatever. He had to get up at six AM to go to a football game. . .and I think most of the people involved here know why this is a problem.
To answer Spencer (ooh, answer Spencer, that sounds funny) Mr. E. showed me your essay on milk.
. . .
Wow.
i used to tak about coming downhill from the scinece room
We talked of many things coming down from that science room. . .okay, that's three straight comments, and no end in sight. . .And almost all of the things we talked about comment on the blog.
wa i spelled talk and science wrong. pleez believe me that it was just a typo and i really can spell better than max.
i mean the club that we talked about... you know....
TEH TANGO MAXWELL: haha that is so good kat! how do you do it! next up you'll have to write Christmas Bells. hheheh TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME between you and maxwell! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAW3 HAHAHAHHHAHA4H im like cracking up right now. imagine maxwell singing that song! hahahahhhahahahahhahahahhaHAHAHHHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHHAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEWAAAAHHHHAAHAHA
WAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
sorry that sjust soo incredibly funny
the story of Kat breaking up with maxwell.
wow i still cant believe that you and maxwell were an item. frightening
im so dead kat. how was the scinece test?
try saying my word verification: akudwcj
lol
ben cacn i get a signature on this posting thing. does anone wwanna find me a better icon than this ozdust thing?
like elphaba or something/
lol.........ONLY IF YOU CAN TELL US WHAT POTJ MEAAANS!
hehe
no jk jk
KKKAAAAAAT! WHEERE AREEE YOU?
lol rent girl, to really laugh at this, you have to konw who max is.
rent girl...you must read the previous post, la vie phantom.hahah
my word verification this time:sukycs
"If you don't do it, We'll tell everyone in town you're a dirty welcher."
-Avidan
To fully enjoy this quote you have to picture a deeply religious missionary with a scottish accent talking to a sinner.
(did i spell his name right)
that was a damn fun latin class.
by the way did u end up getting shoes?
Mmm...liberalicious.
The Liberalicious was originally a naturally occuring substance, discovered deep in a cave by the French anthropologist Jaques Liberalicious. He was studying the ancinet peoples that lived in the area when he got lost in the cave. Parched and desperate, Doctor Liberalicious sampled the blue fluid that he found in a small puddle. Finding it delectable, he drank what was left of it. A misterious chemical in the fluid gave him the burst of energy he needed to run aimlessly, eventually finding his way out of the cave.
He showed up at a tavern mere hours later, and described the taste of the fluid to the bartender. The bartender mixed him a rum and diet coke, then threw in a dash of blue food coloring. When Jaques told the bartender that it didn't have the right kick, he added a shot of espresso. After sampling the drink and being too tired to notice whether or not the flavor was right, Jaques died of an overworked heart. The bartender named the drink "Liberalicious" to honor the only man who had died in his tavern.
And that's the story of Christmas...wait, what?
Spencer. . .Genius as that little rant was, I think Ben has "Wait, what?" copyrighted or something. . .
o i've driven my sister abd babysitter mad. we went to camille's sidewalk cafe and cold stons, and my sister was blasting this song in the car, and i started signing the Tango: Maureen, and La VIe Boheme, and Popular. Funny stuff..errr not to them.
Mmm, Coldstones. . .I sound like Homer Simpson.
What did you get on your icecream?
Now I'm craving Coldstones.
I thought Kevin was a tangled mass of flesh and metal and USED TO BE A BICYCLE!
. . .
Um.
Nevermind.
which kevin are we talking about
No Kevin. . .Kat's just being weird.
Carry on.
MINT MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP! hehe
BEN BEN BEN BEN BEN BEN BEN BEN! Kat thought of a good idea to make POTJH JERSEYS! haha. i probably would wear it once: possibly la vie phantom shooting if it ever happens, or jersey day at school
SWEATSHIRTS i would wear on the other hand. wanna design em? lol
howsabout Pins?
ya
http://www.kansassampler.com/shopexd.asp?
right after the question mark is....and i just dont know how to link here, but ya
id=163759
mua hah hahah
WHOS SEEING RENT W/ ME ON WEDNESDAY!!!!????
okay ben, im trying to convince my mother that the galleria is perfectly safe, and there are cameras and security, and even my attorny(for like custody things) says that shes over protective kuz he works at the galleria (and then my mom got mad at him etc etc.) and then i reminded her of the time that she dropped me, my sister, a 14 year old friend, and dena nicola off on some street in laguna to shop with no supervision. then she told me that it was okay because tamara is older. so then i told her that you are 14 as well. so then basiicaaaly pleeeaaaase come wednesday! (she told me that it was OK to drop me off and then go straight to the movie, and straight back, and she didnt want us wandering around, or even getting food!) my mom would feel much better! :) but thats only if kat, max, and those ppl can come as well. yes i need to start arranging this
Okay, so it's safe if Ben, Max, Mickey, and I all go to the Galleria?
. . .
Now I'm worried for the people in the Galleria. Poor things.
dI think I want to sue over custody of the phrase "Wait, what?" And then I'll copywrite "the," "and," "a," "I," and "bestiality." I'll make millions...except maybe not with "bestiality."
During History I was exploring the wonderful world of a cocktail widgit, and so we (Matt and I) asked the sub to name a cocktail. She named "Sex on the Beach," and like any respectable person would, Matt started scrolling through all the cocktails that started with "Sex."
Examples:
Sex in the Desert, Sex in the Red Zone, Sex in the Shower, Sex on my Face, Sex on the Brain, Sex on the Grass, Sex on the Pool (yes, on the pool), Sex with an Aligator (wait..what?), and the Sexy Aligator.
I was dissappointed to find out that, after "Sex with an Aligator," there was no cocktail named "bestiality," so I decided to invent it. I've gotten no where, except I think I want it to be green and clear (as opposed to creamy or icy).
umm okaaay
ben question:
how far ahead of time do they show movie times? i wanna get the tickets early on the internet to make sure we get in and tis not sold out...im getting 4 tickets when i can
I wanna go to Barneys!!!!!!!!!
U promised.
Ill buy u lunch.
Ohh we can go to Mariposa!!!!
FASHION!!
k i talked to Jeff D, and hes not sure if he can come...so yeaa
BEN WE ARE SEEING IT ON WEDNESDAY NOT FRIDAY!!!
pleeease come
wait kat what was mr e rhyming with sleigh ride and something like that? it was funny
Mickey, my dear, dear girl, all I can say is that where ever you are at the moment, you're way ahead of me.
Hm. A cocktail called Beastiality. I plotteth.
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