In Which We Pondereth X-Box Live, Describe More People, And Pondereth On Ponderething

First order of business: Ponderething On X-Box Live. Like so many, my dear brother Luke lives on X-Box Live. For any of the uninitiated, I will inform you that X-Box Live is like playing video games with friends, only it's that on steriods. Online, you play with other gamers, who range in age from milennia to minutes, and speak with them through a headset. This strange feature is referred to by the iniates of this strange cult as VoiceChat. Little is known of their sinister rituals. And there isn't a PotO video game, which annoys me for purely personal reasons. Now then, what brings me to this subject? What else but strange utterances. Here are a few oddish little gems offered to his friends on VoiceChat by my the DLF (Dear Little Friend) Luke.

1) Where the hell are the floating rocks?
2) You're on fire? What do you mean you're on fire?
3) So explain the Superstring Theory.
4) When someone throws a thermal detonator at you you burn up, slowly incinerated by the demonic fires of HELL!
5) You are all communists! Filthy, filthy, communists!

You know, whoever invented the words strange, odd, bizarre, whacky, wierd, and outré may have done so purely because their little brother was saying very strange things while playing X-Box Live. In any case, my friends, approach the X-Boxites with caution, as they will attack vicously, especially if you trip over their controller cord.

Now, on to a few people I was unable to describe/forgot to describe. Beginning at the beginning, with:

Ben - a.k.a. The Ghost Host or the Blue Faerie, who has been so kind as to describe himself: Computer Geek. (You said it, not me.) Enjoys using big words for no particular reason. Favorite word: Outré. Goodness knows why. Is occasionaly prone to manaical laughter. Is friends with Kat and Max for reasons none of them know. Is a frustrated artist in his spare time. Feels the need to design a logo for everything, even his lunchbox.

Tina/The Ardent Animal Rights Activist: Tina, Tina, Tina. Liberal, anti Bush, big on animal rights, big on drama. Excellent monolougist. A member of the strange group known as the Trio of Three. Kat is unsuccessfully attempting to set her up with Max, which Max knows and she doesn't. Shakespearean.

Carl/The Bandit: Carl's a little mad, granted, but he is lovable as long as you do not attempt to steal his precious hat. He is still in mourning for his former hat, a hat that was once his baseball cap for his precious and beloved team The Bandits. The second member of the feared and renowned Trio of Three. Another Shakespearean.

Mashed Potatoes: No real name need apply. She is Mashed Potatoes. Well, her mom does call her Rosie, but then, eh. A Shakespearean and dramatist with a talent for improv and granny voices.

Josh/Bob Marley: My pretend son. This developed from Tina and Carl, who aren't married, having a marriage spat because Tina was apparently having extramarital relations with Josh, who barely knew her at the time, and I stepped in as a marriage counselor, at which point Josh asserted, "You're not a marriage counselor, you're my mother!" Confused? So are we. Otherwise known as Bob Marley, newspaper reporter.

You may have noticed the word pondereth in the title and wondered what it meant. The answer: I'm not really sure. Max knows, and will gladly tell us, hopefully. I think it's some kind of derivative of ponder, so I used it. Hopefully I'm right, and it doesn't mean anything too strange. Now, this is why Max needs me as Jiminy Cricket. He actually used the verb form ponderething. And if that's not horrid descreation of the English language, ponderethinged. If you can even decode that, hats off to you. The real irony of the matter is that I've probably spelled desecration wrong.

I remain, gentleman, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.