And Now For Something Completely Different

Now for pointless comedy. Very, very, pointless comedy. You see, once upon a time I found a phic by Random Battlecry, and I laughed, causing all of the Beverly Hills Public Library to look at me strangely. Very, very, strangely. This phic had to do with, well, pointless comedy. Very, very, pointless comedy. Ok, I'll stop with the verys. But anyway, Random's phic has a lot to do with muffins. Muffins of all kinds, as a metaphor for life. Poppy seed, blueberry, all kinds. You see, Leroux!Erik has a book on the history of muffins, and Emmy!Christine is able to fit whole muffins into her mouths, don'tcha know.

So my mind naturally progressed to. . .How did Raoul propose?

Raoul: Christine. . .
Christine: Yes?
Raoul: (Gets on one knee) I have a very important question to ask you.
Christine: (Breathless joy)
Raoul: Christine. . .do you know the muffin man?
Christine: The MUFFIN MAN?
Raoul: THE MUFFIN MAN!
Erik: I am the muffin man!
Raoul: Er. What?
Christine: I like muffins. Wanna go to Jerry's Deli, Erik?
Erik: But of course, darling.
(They walk into the sunset, Raoul jumping up and down behind them, screaming, "What about meeee?")
Erika: Shut up, fool, it's an EC ending.
Ely and Kat: (Sob) It's just so beautiful. . .

Wait, that seemed funny at first. Eh. I acted it out about five times with Luke, and we were in stitches, I tell you, stitches. Fun. We were also a bit slaphappy at the time. The badoink monster was also born, then. What is the monster of badoink? That would be Kizzy, piggybacking on Luke, and them both waving their arms in unison and repeating over and over, in unison, "Badoink. Badoink. Badoink." This was fun until the badoink monster wanted food, and then I lost all my good bath towels. I'd rather not discuss this further. And they were nice towels, too.

Also. The dog. He's evil. I am here, informing you, that Obi the newfoundland puppy is evil. Got it? Great. As we speak, or rather, type, I have a painful bite mark on my ankle, a bite mark on my forearm, and a severe emotional bite mark in my soul, for this if the demonic puppy of doom.

And I got the soundtrack to the Phantom original London cast on my iPod. Can't tolerate bits of it, but I was refreshed by the things that were so lacking in the movie. For example, the second Notes scene. I love Christine's little outburst at Carlotta. I barely governed my absurd impulse to cheer. A muffin to anyone who figures out what quote that was. But my absolute favorite Erik moment has to be the All I Ask Of You Reprise. Always. Always. I went into hysterics during the aftermath of the All I Ask Of You Reprise, both when I saw the show and when I heard it on my iPod. Wasn't sure if I was laughing or crying. Cathartic experience. Erm, and I was maniacally laughing too. . .

Maniacal laughter. God, it's a great thing.

I reenacted the whole show in front of the mirror. Fun. . .obsession. Oddness. Joy.

You will curse the day
You did not do
All that the J.G.
Asked of you!

Which probably involved Phantom tickets.

I remain, gentleman, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.