In Which Kat Falls Over

Everyone cry. Calvin and Hobbes ended its run in the LA Times. Oh, Bill Watterson, wherever you are, please, grant us the adventures of a little boy and his tiger for a little longer? Pretty please?

Well, it being the day before my birthday and all, today was intensely boring. Except for the bit of it that happened about a minute ago which I shall now recount to you. I got up. And then I went onto the computer. And then I found a bad fanfiction called Legolas by Laura. And then the story used and then too many times. And then I yawned. And then. . .

Jenny: (Yelling from the kitchen.) Kat! Kaaat! There's roses here from someone. . .I don't know who. . .

Kat: Oh? Ok, I'm coming in there.

(Kat walks into kitchen. Kat reads card on roses.)

Kat: (Falls over.)

Jenny: . . . (Reads card on roses.) OH. EM. EFF. GEE.

Kat: (Makes a "can you please help me up, I'm dying here," kind of noise.)

And that's how I spent my morning ladies and gentlemen

I feel I must confess something to you all. I am thinking about writing a Hayao Miyazaki fan fiction, about Howl's Moving Castle. Kudos if you got anything about that. It will probably be Calcifer/OC, but I remain faithful that OMG CALCIFER/HEEN = OTP! (OTP means One True Pairing. For example, a phan would declare vehemently that EC is the OTP. Or E/N, depending on said phan.) Calcifer is a fire demon. Heen is a dog. So Calcifer/Heen = OMG OTP! Is my little private joke with myself. Other random jokes involving OTP include - warning, Lerouxness up ahead - Erik/Rat catcher, Rat/Rat catcher, Christine/The Persian (which squicks me. Don't ask why) and Mr. Tumnus from Chronicles of Narnia/Lucy. (That last one squicks me like you wouldn't believe. It is also very popular. Why? God, why?)

Because of all the weird lingo in that last, I feel I must create the new, the improved, the amazing. . .

Phantom of the Junior High Lexicon

OAYe - int. - Shows joy or surpise. [Origin - Kat attempting to type cry and typing this instead.]

Muffin - n. - A gift of a metaphor for lifey sort of nature. Often offered in response to reference getting. Also, Algernon Moncrieff's comfort food. [Origin - Kat offering them to commentors who got references. Also see Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest," and Random-Battlecry's "Whose Lair Is It Anyway?" in which they were stuffed into Emmy Rossum's mouth.]

Squee - v. - A strange squeaky noise, mainly made by fangirls, but occasionally by Kat, when surprised or happy. Or sexually attracted. [Origin - This has been in fanfiction lexicon for ages.]

OTP - abrv. - Abbreviation for One True Pairing. The belief that one pairing, for example ErikChristine, is the only pairing that matters in the fandom. [Origin - Fanfiction lexicon.]

Eroga - abrv. - Cutesy pairing name for Erik/Nadir slash. Kat detests it. [Origin - A fangirl on the PotO.com boards whose name shall not be spoken.]

Squick - v. - To disturb on a deep and fundamental level. Usually has to do with gore or with practices practiced by Max in relation to Lizzie. [Origin - GAFF forums.]

Fangirl - n. - One who squees and is just sort of generally bouncy and unreasonable. Usually hasn't read the book of whatever movie it is very well. [Origin - The Dawn of Fanfic.]

Phangirl - n. - Like a fangirl, but with PotO, and a PH. [Origin - The Dawn of Gerry.]

Phan - n. - A Kat. Seriously, they're all like me. Approach with caution. [Origin - The Dawn Of Obsessive People Changing Their Names To Christine Daae.]

Spork - n. or v. - Either a verb describing the process of snarking a fanfiction, or a noun describing the theoretical tool you use for this. [Origin - God only knows.]

Foon - n. or v. - The alternative to spork. The subject of many bloody battles between Kat and various acquaintances. [Origin - See above.]

These are not in alphabetical order. How could they possibly be? Yo no tengo un attention span longer than five sec - oh look, a bad fan fiction!

Quote of the Day

"Darnit, I forgot quote of the day! Hang on, I've got the Lexicon of Stupidity by my bed, that'll have something. . ."

"That's it right there."

-Kat and Ben. On the phone, of all things.

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.