An Extremely Awkward Situation Involving Cross-Casting

There are some definite disadvantages to identifying with a male character when you're a girl. See, I am a female, and I can be slightly girly. Okay, very girly. You should see me with my little sixth grader friend Jazz. But more to the point.

I am in a Shakespeare class. We are learning monolouges and writing a play, which we will be performing. I have Julia's monolouge from Two Gentlemen of Verona, and I am convinced she is physcotic, because I like physcotic people, and in the play I play Elmer Fudd. Yes, Elmer Fudd. Do not rub it in, or I will punjab you.

So we're chatting, me and the rest of the kids in the class, while the other kids do some of their scenes. And I, as is inevitable, made a reference to PotO, which is entirely unavoidable. I remarked to the new girl, "Don't mind me, I'm just a Phantom of the Opera geek." Her next words almost had me singing the Hallelujah Chorus.

"Really? So am I."

"Eeee!" Well, at least that's sort of what I said. It's hard to write down a squeal of inordinate joy. Needless to say, I was happy. "So, which character do you identify with?" I was so idiotic as to ask.

Erika: Of course she said what she said, genius, she's a girl and she's reasonably young, who else would she identify with?

Ely: Carlotta?

Erika: Ely, shut UP.

Max: Don't shut up.

Kat: How did you show up in the blog?

Ben: This seems to be a tangent. Get back to the blog.

Kat: Who do you think you are, you two?

Max: Every Erik must have at least one nosy, Nadir-esque figure around. It's in the PotO rulebook.

Ben: Carry on.

Er. Anyway. I bet you've guessed her response by now. She said cheerfully, "Oh, I identify with Christine."

Oh, damnit. "Er. I identify with Erik. He's kind of my role model." Most of the time that scares people, so I didn't expect anything less. Instead, she replied oddly.

"We could do a production!" She obviously had about as much common sense as Christine herself. My friend Josh (see Kat's Roster) took this opportunity to flirt with her. I gave him the Erik-eye, an expression known only to Eriks, and glanced sardonically at the girl. Who I will now refer to as Ingenue, which is kind of a stupid name, but makes sense to me.

"Definitely Raoul for you, Josh." We said in unison, which was highly creepy. "Well, don't you want to kill him anyway?" Ingenue asked.

"It works for me. Josh?"

Josh was grinning his head off. "Sounds good to me, babe." He was, for the record, talking to Ingenue, not me. I think he realized he'd get to kiss her and get the girl in the end.

This entire exchange put into my mind a very strange image of myself playing Erik.

And the question of the day IS: Was that kid serious? Does she really want to do a production?

Well, why not?

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.