Viva La Vie Christine!

I have decided that I shall desecrate two great shows by writing one random song parody. Fun. I now present to you, fresh from the prison of my mind, darkness deep as hell, all that good stuff, my PotO version of La Vie Boheme from Rent! I love this song, so I thought this might be enjoyable. Not quite finished yet, though.

Andre:
(To Erik)
No please no
Not tonight please no
Monsieur - can't you go
Not tonight - can't have a scene

Erik:
What?

Firmin:
Go please go,
You - (to Raoul) Hello sir!
(To Erik) I said no
Important customers

Erik:
What am I - just a blur?

Andre;
If you're displeased, someone will die!

Erik:
That's a lie - that's a lie
I'm moody that's all that I'll say -

Firmin:
And of Bouquet?

Erik:
Oh yeah. . .

Raoul:
The ghost of the Paris Opera here?

Andre:
There goes the -

All:
Chandelier!

Christine:
The enemy of the peaceful way -
We'll stay.

Raoul:
Oy vey!
What brings the man out of his mind to the show today?
I would like to propose a toast
To Erik's noble try (Points at Christine)
It went well -

Erik:
Go to hell!
They all know you're a fop!
Even without my Punjab
If we fought you'd get stomped!

Christine:
Why did Muffy -

Piangi:
Carlotta!

Christine:
Miss the show?

Erik:
(Evil grin)
There was a death in the family,
If you must know.

Christine:
Who died?

Piangi:
Um.
She did.

Andre:
(To Erik)
Dang, that's cold.

Erik:
(To Christine)
Christine - I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with this slacker
His fate I'll have to seal
He makes fun - yet I am the one
Who taught you how to sing.
Or do you really like "Milkshake" on his cell ring?
I've heard it, and it's there.
(To the managers)
Carlotta, Carlotta's
A fallacy in your head.
This is Christine's World. . .
The toad diva is dead.

Managers:
Dearly beloved
We gather here to say our goodbyes

All:
Dies Irae dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash (etc.)

Erik:
Here she lies
Here's all she's worth (Spits)
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In this little Opera Populaire
We raise out glass - down to the last - to -
La vie Christine.

All:
La vie Christine.
La vie Christine.
La vie Christine.
La vie Christine.

Christine:
Angels of inspiration
Playing music, making something out of nothing

Raoul:
The need for a dress -

Andre:
And for safety pins.

Firmin:
Walk backwards against the grain

Erik:
Going insane
Going mad

All But Erik:
To murders we could mention
Which called up our attention
Ghosts without retention
For polite convention who bear a mention

Erik:
Not to mention of course
Thinking Raoul is a cad
To wearing a mask

Managers:
To francs which the ghost must loot
Box Five - and we're still alive -

Bouquet:
To Absolut -drink's choice

Christine:
To my angel's voice

Raoul:
And I am not a cad!

Erik:
To being with her for once
Despite what she's seen

All:
La vie Christine
La vie Christine

Christine:
Remember your anger management

Erik:
Yes, Christine.
The diva doesn't have a case.

Raoul:
Don't give me that. . .(Pause to giggle) Face. (Giggles.)

Ayesha:
Ahem.

Christine:
Cool it sister
He's my mister.

Managers:
So that's one Opera Ghost, two jealous lovers
Two are brilliant singers, two harried managers
Damn, why must we take all the falls?

Erik:
You think I'M happy?

Christine:
If you close your eyes.

Managers:
And now we're gonna die!
Is that it here?

Piangi:
What of the

All:
Chandelier!

Christine and Raoul:
To Opera Populaire, despite it's rivalries
To patrons, to divas, to hitting notes with ease
To tickets, to gossip, admiring the cue
To Faustus the doctor and the pink slip - adieu!

Giry:
Box keepers with notions
Ghosts causing a commotion
Creation, narration

Managers:
The pride of all the nation!

Erik:
To barrels, rat catchers, to torture and to -

Piangi:
Carlotta!

All:
To Christine!

Erik:
(To Piangi)
A curse and noose on you.

Managers:
To vocal conversions, Hannibal onstage

Phillipe:
Sorelli's loose!

Sorelli:
Worn pointe shoes!

Managers:
To the stage!

Nadir:
To Persia
To Allah
And Manderzan's Sultana too,

Erik:
Why Christine and Raoul
Went over Apollo
In happiness serene!

All:
La vie Christine!

A far as I've gotten. Part Two coming up sometime in the next century!