Gak! Auditions! I HATE Auditions

Guys, I need a bit of help. Who can tell me which of these monolouges I should do for an audition for the teen rep company at Theatricum? I'm having a complete seizure over the whole damned thing. The play the company is doing is Macbeth. My, isn't that cheerful. The first monolouge is Lady Macbeth, the second is Julia from Two Gentlemen of Verona, and the third is Mercutio. My mom wants me to do the first. Dad doesn't know. However, this girl named Ember, who is really, really good, is auditioning with the Lady Macbeth monolouge. Should that affect my choice?

As you can tell, I am having a regular fit over this. Please, guys, help meee! I'm an innocent young Shakespearian actress who just wants to do rep work! If ever I have needed my loyal blog readers, I need you now. . .(Dramatic soap opera music.) Because. . .I. . .think that Nadir has been at the Pop Tarts again! (Shocked gasps.)

Anywho.

The raven himself is hoarse
That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan
Under my battlements. Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here;
And fill me, from the crown to the toe, top-full
Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood,
Stop up the access and passage to remorse,
That no compunctious visitings of nature
Shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between
The effect and it! Come to my woman's breasts,
And take my milk for gall, your murdering ministers,
Wherever in your sightless substances
You wait on nature's mischief! Come, thick night,
And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell
That my keen knife see not the wound it makes
Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark
To cry, "Hold, hold!"

FIN

(During this next one, Julia has just gotten a letter from Proteus, who she is secretly in love with. She does not, however, want anyone to know this. Yes, that is what secretly means. Just your day for intelligence, isn't it, Kat.)

This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
Here is a coil with protestation! (She rips the letter, her maid tries to pick it up.)
Go get you gone, and let the papers lie:
You would be fingering them, to anger me.
O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey
And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia!
As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus.'
Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed
Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal'd;
And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down.
Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
Till I have found each letter in the letter,
Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear
Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock
And throw it thence into the raging sea!
Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,
'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia:' that I'll tear away.
And yet I will not, sith so prettily
He couples it to his complaining names.
Thus will I fold them one on another:
Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.

FIN

(In this one, as I do hope you know, Mercutio is teasing Romeo about being in love. Mercutio is Romeo's best friend. And a minor God. I love this guy. He's almost as truly wonderful as Erik. Almost.)

MERCUTIO: O, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes
In shape no bigger than an agate stone
On the forefinger of an alderman,
Drawn with a team of little atomies
Over men's noses as they lie asleep;
Her wagon spokes made of long spinners' legs,
The cover, of the wings of grasshoppers;
Her traces, of the smallest spider web;
Her collars, of the moonshine's wat'ry beams;
Her whip, of cricket's bone; the lash, of film;
Her wagoner, a small grey-coated gnat,
Not half so big as a round little worm
Pricked from the lazy finger of a maid;
Her chariot is an empty hazelnut,
Made by the joiner squirrel or old grub,
Time out o' mind the fairies' coachmakers.
And in this state she gallops night by night
Through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love;
O'er courtiers' knees, that dream on curtsies straight;
O'er lawyers' fingers, who straight dream on fees;
O'er ladies' lips, who straight on kisses dream,
Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues,
Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are.
Sometimes she gallops o'er a courtier's nose,
And then dreams he of smelling out a suit;
And sometimes comes she with a tithe-pig's tail
Tickling a parson's nose as 'a lies asleep,
Then dreams he of another benefice.
Sometimes she driveth o'er a soldier's neck,
And then dreams he of cutting foreign throats,
Of breaches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades,
Of healths five fathom deep; and then anon
Drums in his ear, at which he starts and wakes,
And being thus frighted, swears a prayer or two
And sleeps again. This is that very Mab
That plats the manes of horses in the night
And bakes the elflocks in foul sluttish hairs,
Which once untangled much misfortune bodes.
This is the hag, when maids lie on their backs,
That presses them and learns them first to bear,
Making them women of good carriage.
This is she!

FIN

(Yeah, well that's not complex at all.)

And while I'm on not the subject. . .

Kat's Short List of Fictional Wonderful People

In no real order, with quotes.

1. Erik - "You see, killing is like riding, no one ever really loses the knack."
2. Nadir Khan - "I am NOT short!"
3. Dallas Williams - "You can't be soft."
4. Algernon Moncrieff - "The world was made to argue with."
5. Severus Snape - "Turn to page three hundred and ninety four. Three hundred and ninety four."
6. Jack Sparrow - "So there is a curse. That's interesting. That's very interesting."
7. Willy Wonka - "Even I am eatable, but that is called cannabilism my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies."
8. Ford Prefect - "I went mad for a while. Did me no end of good."
8. Arthur Dent - "Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
9. The Cheschire Cat - "I just want to get somewhere!" "Oh, you're sure to do that, if you only walk long enough."
10. Mercutio - "When next you come to see me, you will find me a grave man. . ."

Why are they all men?

Oh, and don't read the previous post. It's depressing.

I remain, gentlemen, your faithful and obedient servant,

J.G.